Pain of love

Still have few more days is new year. These few days I feel restless at home. I have not started to do my homework also. I am really lazy and no mood to do. Just staying at home watch football match till late at night. Although sometimes I am damn tired, I cant fall asleep. Water keeps rustling down my eyes. I am wasting my time. I have no motivation to continue to do my things. I am rather useless. My heart is crying hard without any healing portion. It is so damn pain. I am freak out. I don know what should I do now. My life suddenly sinking low to nowhere. I am scare. I am not strong enough to overcome this fear. It's too huge for me to support myself. I want to go a place where I can release all my stress. I want to scream out loud all my worries and solemn. I cant stand it anymore. It's kill me silently and it is poisonous. I am desperately searching for antidote. What should I do now? I want to go on to my life. I trying very very hard to forgo, but I cant. The moment I want to forget, the moment it lingers me all over my mind every minute and every second. It is torturing me. It kills me. I love you. Please lead me out of this hell.