self conflict

Just feel like typing something. First time being heavily distracted with something else making me couldn’t concentrate well in my Ielts preparation. While looking at the line of words, my mind thinking of some problems. When my focus is back to the lines, I have no idea what am I reading until I repeat again. Aiks, such a waste of time and energy.

The problem is not a problem, it’s just not the right timing but I am just being afraid there would be no second chance if I miss out this. No one is perfect, I am quite astonished with myself too. Always dreaming for the best but bear in mind, best stuffs don’t always fall into your hands. Moderate is good too as imperfection within perfection making it perfect, no?

Days are coming nearer yet I am still left with a big question mark for myself. Time is shortening, I don’t know what should I do. Besides, I don’t want to hurt anyone that I care, not even my friends. Friendship is too important for me and I can’t be selfish. I do believe all these things will fade once we are distance apart when no one takes initiative to make things up. On the other hand, my heart telling me hopefully this would not be the case. self conflicting with this kind of matters is stupid I could say because imma stupid, how should I react? I so fail in all these stuffs too.

well, shall focus on my test tomorrow. good luck